Understanding and Accepting that You No Longer “Fit In”
As I go through this journey, I am learning that I am less and less like everybody else. Perhaps you, who are reading this also resonated with the title and feel the same. It has come to a point where I have to accept and know that I have been able to experience something so beautiful yet disconnecting from others and it’s very hard to continue going on the path and allowing the old to still be present.
I’ve taken some truly hard shifts to disconnect purposely. Why? For my own sanity, self-preservation and to tune out anyone and everyone that has opinions, judgements and feelings about the way I choose to live my life. You have to own your singularity and create boundaries so strong that even the greatest destroyer can’t penetrate your wall. I, of course am still learning what to build that wall of protection with but the intentions are there in the meantime to help assist me.
However, I know I am not the only one going through this painful challenge of feeling that disconnect. My bestie is too. It’s hard to admit but when the question comes up, “Why don’t I feel connected to some friends, family and acquaintances anymore?” My immediate response is, “Because you piss them off or trigger them in their own life.” It’s a sad fact but it’s true. Not all people want us to change, grow or evolve and prefer us to stay in a low frequency and state so we can commiserate together. But we are no longer choosing, and let me make CHOOSING be the focus here, to live how we used to. Many people call it “in the Matrix” but we would probably call it Hell.
Merriam Webster describes Hell as:
1) the nether realm of the devil and demons in which condemned people suffer everlasting punishment and the dead continue to exist;
2) a place or state of misery, torment, or wickedness.
This perfectly describes how I used to feel in my life and not only that, how many, many people feel day in and day out here on Earth. It’s so disheartening that this is how we have not only created but accepted our world to be. I’m telling you, it’s NOT!!! We no longer have to live this way, accepting pittance and stress as the “norm”. It is in no way normal or healthy and not the intention of our mission to come here and live a full and happy life.
But on this path, things fall away as you continue to rise to your greatest self, however that may look like for you. That includes old ways of living, friendships, connections, likes and habits. In my own journey I watched my daily routines, sleeping patterns, the food I ate, the communication I had, the connections I held close, my career focus and work I did, my life goals and everything between shift and change. They HAD to. It was a by-product of my own change. I moved my body. I ate foods that were nourishing for me. I watched weight drop off of me. I did therapy to help get to the nitty gritty and find what was hidden in those dark corners. I did work I was purposeful and passionate about. I was able to love more, care more and devote myself to myself and others in a more wholesome and complete way.
Why would I ever want to go back to the way I used to be? I LOVE my life now. If this was all that happened to get me on my way to becoming the truest and most authentic human I could be, then why, oh why would I ever change a thing!?!
Not fitting in has become one of the greatest gifts I could have ever asked for.
If you too are feeling this, keep going on your path. It may get challenging at times. No, sorry…it WILL get challenging at times but the more whole you feel about who you are, finding your inner light and peace within who you are and what you stand for day in and day out, the greater your life will become. Then you notice that the things that used to feel so important to you before no longer resonate with who you have become. Why? Because you are no longer who you used to be.
And isn’t that tremendous!
