A Day of Light, Growth and Renewal - An Unveiling

With the warmth of the blessed sun upon my face this morning, I am reminded once again to send offerings of gratitude to the Divine Mother and all she bestows upon us, on this beautiful planet we call home. It is the light, the male energy that works in tandem with the female energy of fertility to make this world such a luscious and bountiful place to live. This is a day to honour the sun’s light, the absorption of the goodness, the richness and the life force that allows us to wake each morning knowing that it will rise, once again, tomorrow.

We too, must rise with this gift of life.

From the dormancy of winter to the lush blooms of summer, growth and renewal don’t necessarily need to be seen to know that something has shifted and rebirthed within. I, like the seed buried within the earth have been germinating and developing in the darkness. But now light has shone down upon me and I pierce the veil that has enveloped me in nutrients, in richness and in pleasure that the beauty can no longer be contained in the shadows. It’s the season to shine. It’s the time to share. It’s the moment to birth.

What’s been developing you may wonder? Ahh my loves, a whole host of delicious and abundant gems that have enabled me to love myself even deeper, fuller and more profoundly. When you are faced with experiences that feel like they are breaking you down, sometimes you may not see that they are actually breaking you open. What if you understood that what you’ve been sacrificing all along was yourself? You can try to make excuses for your behaviour, your choices, your feelings but really when that mirror is placed in front of you, you have nowhere to run or hide for it will always be there.

You.

I have been on a journey. A transformation really. It was fucking hard and deeply painful. It was worth every second of it now that I’m on the other side. How did I make it through? Complete surrender and trust in the Universe/God or whatever you may want to call it. It was telling my innate wisdom, my Higher Self, my intuition that they are in charge, they can take the wheel and I will obey every message, every pull, and every nudge. That took an overwhelming amount of faith to let go. I have been in a constant state of control my whole life but when I make decisions based on those fears of ‘losing something,’ I always end up losing it anyway. So I let go and released control choosing to step into love and trust.

When you shift into that new paradigm, you understand that there are some things, people and experiences that you will also let go of too. It’s bittersweet, yet you honour them while honouring yourself as you become the you that was always meant to blossom.

The way I stepped into a deeper love of myself was to learn about myself. I went deep into the desires and my truth to unearth what I want to bring into this world. I want to write because that’s what I do every single day and I have a greater relationship with myself for it. I want to guide others to use writing as the tool to heal, to grow, to face darkness and beauty, the light and dark, the seen and unseen forces that are working with us to ultimately become all that we are and meant to be in this lifetime. We need it now, more than ever.

But I needed to go deeper into me. I needed to know what the Universe had in store for me, why I am the way I am and what life lessons, karmic patterns and experiences I’m here to break bonds with and live my life purpose to its fullest expression. How do I do that? “Look up to the sky and it shall reveal all that was destined for you,” I heard. There was no better time. I knew that I was moving into a new Progressed Moon cycle in Aquarius in the upcoming months and I’d already felt the winds of change within me. Astrology was the answer. I inherently knew this gift was not only going to benefit me, even though I went into it solely to fall in love with myself on a deeper level. No, no, this was going to be the gift that I extend out to others so that they too can say, “Wow! Yes, I am this way and I love and accept myself more for being exactly who I am.”

In the throws of a plethora of information, I was able to dissect and understand certain experiences at specific timelines and how they were predestined by the exact timing of my life to help me face them and grow. When I didn’t learn the lesson, they came back around harder and more painfully. Until I finally got it, I could release the clutches of these challenges and take the high road knowing I didn’t need to experience them again. The karma was cleared and I could breathe knowing that I am okay. I can’t wait to share the insights and beauty a birth chart reading can reveal about you and all that makes you the incredible human you are in this life. We are all here to serve a greater purpose. Some have big missions, others can take it easy and enjoy the ride. Your chart tells it all.

And in the final bold move to reclaim and love myself after all of this wisdom and acceptance, a lover girl and devotee to the belief in great love, let go of the need to be in a relationship with another to feel complete. I fully, wholeheartedly and happily chose myself. As I smiled from ear to ear, I felt my wounded girl’s shackles release from my body and found an absolute freedom. I was able to see myself, my own love and my own devotion fully. I love to be in love, but I recognize now that it was my love that I was in love with all along. I was the anchor. I was the embodiment of that divine feminine essence of unconditional love. It had just been so tainted by the wounding and self-abandonment for the ones I ‘thought’ were my loves and yet they had no capacity to hold me as they hadn’t even been able to hold themselves.

I knew if I were to ever be in relation with another man, he had to be in his divine masculine embodiment. I desired only a true counterpart, a man who’d gone deep into his own wounds and bravely set forth on his healing journey. A man who is connected with his divine and spiritual nature. A man who had conviction and strength. A man who knew how to treat a woman. A man who honoured the divine feminine in her complete embodiment and expression. A man who could hold me in all I am and I could hold him in all that he is. There was no space for anyone less than.

I wanted my true divine masculine and that started within me. I had to become that masculine who fully chose me, the divine feminine, to balance the imbalance within. So I did. And I felt whole and complete.

I could finally breathe.

I could finally be myself.

I was the one I was searching for all along. And just as I settled into the juiciness that was the love within, he came in…