I don’t know about you but I hate the phrase, “Don’t take it personally.” I think that line is bullshit and a giant excuse for people to act like assholes and take no responsibility for their thoughts, words and actions. They can do whatever they want to do, say whatever they want to say and act anyway they want to act and expect YOU not to be affected by it all which is completely asinine!

However, over the past few years I’ve began to take a deep dive into why people do the things they do, say what they say and act the way they act and I’ve come to the conclusion that essentially it’s their unhealed wounds that drive them to be the way they are when their actions and words could be hurtful to others. In the moments I become aware of that, it changes my perspective from one of annoyance and pain, to one of empathy and compassion. Only then do I truly get what, “don’t take it personally,” means.

I still hate it, but I get it.

Humans are complex creatures and we need to have respect for that. We have all been born into unique bodies with unique brains, emotions, circumstances and then we have a family on top of that which adds a whole other layer of life onto our singular selves. It’s madness in the grand scheme of things and we are affected by it all, every single bit of life. Our journeys are each individual. Information, education, experiences, relational dynamics, feelings about ourselves, our value to this world and our whole sense of self is our own and no two people are alike. Wild…I know. And yet here we are all trying to relate to one another and expect understanding about who we are and what we do in this world. It’s a lot to expect from anyone.

When I heard the phrase, “Hurt people, hurt people,” that made COMPLETE sense to me! There is nothing that feels good about pain therefore, we want it out of our bodies in any way we can release it. Some people choose cutting words, complain constantly and hate everything about everything. Then there’s the ones who physically need to release by moving their bodies, damaging/breaking objects or sadly involving another being. A horrible truth but a truth nonetheless.

So in a world filled with complex people and even more complex and challenging situations, how can we best choose to act with kindness, provide space and understanding of one another and be more open to embrace each other in a loving way? By healing ourselves. When we turn all of that love, respect and care back into ourselves then take the time to learn, understand and grow, we begin the process of healing ourselves. This is how, “healed people, can heal people.”

What I’ve noticed is that there have been people in my own world who have had the bravery to make big and bold changes that surprised or even shocked me that they did. In turn, they have inspired me to do the same thing. I admired their dedication and devotion to healthy changes in their life which shifted their attitude, their mindset, their outlook and even their physical body. It was only by inspiration that they created a massive influence and it had the domino effect. They were initially inspired by someone else, made a change themselves, then I was inspired by them, made the change myself and ultimately became the inspiration for others to make their changes. It shows how one person can make a tremendous positive impact on the collective. It’s how we can shift to heal the collective.

Can you recall a moment when you have been inspired by another to think, feel or act a different way or you, yourself have inspired another to be better themselves? Didn’t it make you light up, feel empowered, excited and joyful? THAT’S what we need more of. The world heals when we heal. It’s time to choose to be what we want to see in this lifetime. It’s time to focus on our healing.

And maybe, just maybe, we can let go of our annoyance and attachment to taking things personally and start to become empathetic and understanding what is really happening. We can open up to others knowing that they may need to see something good to believe in so they can choose to let go of their hurt. We can show them that when we want better, we can do better and we ultimately attract better.
Be the light.
Healed people, heal people.